


portrait of a []

by vagarius



Category: A3! (Video Game)
Genre: A3! Week, Character Study, Day 3: Confession, Drabble, Friendship, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-22
Updated: 2020-01-22
Packaged: 2021-02-27 11:28:00
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 818
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22356406
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/vagarius/pseuds/vagarius
Summary: … Ah, but I wasn't always like this, was I?
Relationships: Miyoshi Kazunari & Summer Troupe
Comments: 8
Kudos: 54





	portrait of a []

**Author's Note:**

> i wrote this more as a character study for myself, but i figured i'd still share it for a3 week! for day 3: confession (although this only loosely fits the prompt...)

_Yoropiko~ Miyoshi Kazunari here! It's time to talk about no one other than… me! I love traveling, mixers, and graphic design! And I'm always down for some fun with friends._

_… Ah, but I wasn't always like this, was I? I was actually a pretty quiet kid. Always studying, you know? I also became interested in art, but studying was still the thing I enjoyed most. The other kids would play sports or play pretend… it didn't interest me. I lived at my desk, and I was content. I had art and studying, and it was enough._

_Sometime in the midst of all of this, my little sister was born. Unlike me, she was very outgoing. She always had a friend at her side, and my parents had to practically wrestle her into her desk. They never used me as a comparison to get her to do her schoolwork, which I'm grateful for… but sometimes, as my little sister excitedly talked about her friends, my parents would glance at me with sadness. I couldn't figure out why, at first. I was content, and my parents had no reason to worry about me. Eventually, I noticed it: my little sister smiled wider than I did. All these years, while I had spent my time being merely content, my sister had spent her time being happy. It was such a small difference, but it made me feel hollow. When the shell that was me started to crumble, I rebuilt myself from scratch._

_When I entered high school, I could tell my parents were taken aback, but they didn't call me out or stop me. I dyed my hair, and started changing my speech patterns, and I learned how to make friends quickly. All the things I had ignored as a kid, all the people I had been indifferent about – quickly and efficiently, they had become part of the new me. I was barely home, my first year of high school. My parents seemed concerned, but my grades never dropped, and they had no real reason to scold me. In my second year, my initial excitement had died down some, and I had settled comfortably into the person I had become._

_The new me had art, studying, and lots of friends. I was never alone. The light franticness, the exhaustion – it must be happiness, I thought. I'd rebuild myself every day, just to keep those feelings. When I got into university, I was congratulated by both my family and my friends… being congratulated by both was something new to me. It felt like my world had opened even wider before me. I still treasure that feeling, as shallow as it may have been._

"Eventually, I…" Kazunari trails off, sighing to his empty bedroom. _Eventually, I found myself,_ he silently reads. _At university, the new me solidified. I was surrounded by people who loved the things I loved, and I made more friends than I ever imagined as a kid. I was soon led to Mankai, where I made the greatest friends of all._

"But that's not quite right, is it?" Kazunari mumbles, then picks up a pen from his desk.

_That's what I want to say. But I still can't express myself as I want to. I want to be as satisfied with myself as I am with my art, and with my studying. It's a level of satisfaction that I haven't quite reached._

_Until then, I don't think I can call any of the feelings in my heart "happiness," or at least not the type my little sister felt. But I am more content at this point in my life than I've ever been, and my heart is warm._

"Didn't you just jump topics really quickly, there?"

Kazunari whirls around in his chair, nearly headbutting the person standing behind him. "TenTen!" he shouts, scrambling to cover his writing. "You scared me!"

Muku slowly steps into the room. "Sorry, Kazu-kun… everyone barged in after I told them not to."

"It's okay, Mukkun," Kazunari says, blinking at the new faces in his doorway. "Wait, what?"

"Kazu missed dinner!" Misumi exclaims, swinging a plate of onigiri toward him. "So we made him onigiri!"

"I see…"

"They're all going to spill if you swing the plate like that, Trianglian."

"Eh? But they're balanced just fine," Misumi protests, but stills nonetheless. Kazunari can't help but laugh. Misumi tilts his head. "Kazu?"

Kazunari laughs again. "Thanks, guys. You guys should eat some, too!"

"Yay!" Misumi cheers, before shifting the plate to one hand to grab an onigiri for himself. He pauses, then says, "Kazu should eat one first."

Kazunari lets out one more breathy laugh before grabbing one of the more misshapen onigiri, and is unsurprised when he bites into _kombu_ filling. As he chews, he wonders when exactly he started feeling this way.

 _I lied,_ Kazunari muses. _That elusive "happiness"… I may have already found it._

**Author's Note:**

> endnote: in ep 3 of adventure for sardines (read on yaycupcake), tenma says onigiri filling has to be tangle seaweed (kazu says it should be basil cheese). i assumed this meant kombu, a common onigiri filling. (also note i wrote this before great sardine search event started in en lol)
> 
> [twitter: @jea9yj](https://twitter.com/jea9yj)


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